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The opportunity for gratifying such fantasies of symbiosis during pregnancy makes it a time for dreaming and for revelling in fantasies of union. After birth, the development and maintenance of maternal attitudes of attachment depend on a woman's recapturing these fantasies of oneness with her own mother. The child-to-be holds the promise of a close relationship, a fulfillment of childhood fantasies. 4 / T H E W I S H T O M I R R O R O N E S E L F I N T H E C H I L D . Mirroring is a fundamental dimension of narcissism,.

Even one short visit will do much to allay parental fears and to prepare for mutual cooperation in later routine visits. One of the unconscious factors often T H E D A W N OF A T T A C H M E N T involved here is a desire for the physician to allay a mother's guilt by "allowing" her to have a child, reassuring her that her body is capable of carrying and delivering a healthy fetus. Apart from her pediatrician or an understanding obstetrician, a mother, of course, has two important allies as she summons her energies to face these tasks.

This is why fathers become so anxious when they see signs of weakness, insecurity, and lack of drive in their sons. Such weaknesses seem to reflect, in an amplified and socially visible form, the father's insecurity about himself. Possibly contributing to this strong identification is a man's deep-seated feeling that he can influence his son's masculine identification but not his daughter's outcome. A woman, as we have seen, longs for a child to quiet doubts about her own fertility and reproductive capacity.

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